you guys I just found the zip file with all my old myspace blogs and I am TOTALLY POSTING THEM ON THIS SITE. omg they’re so horrible. pretty boring, too. I think I’ll post three or four at a time. a lot of them are really, really short. side note, I complained a lot when I was younger. maybe I complain a lot now but it doesn’t seem that way because it’s about different stuff? bleh. anyway, MYSPACE BLOGS OMG

did I mention that hoggle got rear-ended in silver spring at the end of august? RIGHT?!!? NEW CAR! LET’S DAMAGE IT!!! I was really pissed off but the man was very nice about everything and obviously since he hit me while I was stopped at a red light it was his fault. but still, started september going to an auto place for a nationwide quote -_-

first monday (labor day), saw the original TRON in theatres with jemaine which was cool. I’d never seen it before. dropped off hoggle to get fixed, picked him up a couple days later good as new! went to ikea with jemaine, and had a horrible experience. oh yes, I’m going to tell you about it.

originally it was just going to be the two of us, but jemaine’s friend needed to get a couch or something and of course I had no problem with that. I told jemaine I’d be there before 1pm and we would leave at 1pm. however, when I got there he was playing fez (his friend just watching) and we ended up leaving 15 minutes late. on top of that, his friend didn’t have a car so jemaine drove and I followed (I needed space in my car for furniture) – I TOLD him not to drive like he normally does (like an aggressive jackass) because I didn’t know how to get to ikea. first right turn, what does he do? go before a shit-ton of traffic. thankfully he pulled into a side street a few blocks down, but c’mon. I JUST said I had to follow him.

we got there and started looking around. things didn’t start irritating me until we got to the warehouse area. jemaine’s friend was looking up stuff on the computer and instead of helping me load my first items (right by the computer), jemaine hung around his friend staring at the screen. when they got all the info they needed, jemaine was like “let’s go to this aisle” and his FRIEND was like “kaese isn’t one of your pieces right here?” yeah… and then the FRIEND helped me load the cart – this guy I’ve only met once helped load my cart instead of the friend I was supposed to move in with. awesome.

so after much loading and pushing of carts, we got into line. jemaine’s friend was taking a long time because he had a lot of stuff and also had to go through the delivery line. since I knew I’d be waiting for awhile, I told jemaine I was going to try to load my car by myself. he said cool. I got down to the parking garage, brought hoggle around to the loading area, and went to work. finally got all the furniture loaded and perfect timing, jemaine texted me: “you do self?” I replied “yeah and I’m really thirsty now.” drove hoggle back to where jemaine and I had parked and I couldn’t find jemaine’s car. just then a torrential downpour started outside. soooo glad I was in the garage. I called jemaine, voicemail. he called me back and I asked where he was and he said something along the lines of “lol in this horrible rain!” and I went ballistic.

needless to say I wasn’t a happy camper when I got back to his place to unload the car. the guys did most of the moving which was nice, but I was still kind of pissy. though I ended up hanging out at jemaine’s while he took his friend home. I gave him some money for soda and watched doctor who. his fuck buddy came by once he was home, then he and I watched doctor who.

sunday I had brunch with zanzibar and our mutual friend (rafael’s again, mmm eggs benedict and cheesy hashbrown balls) which was a lot of fun. caught up on a lot!

ok more later… tired of writing lol

I think I need to make a new category called “catch up” ugh. four months? really, four months? where have I been all this time? well, living life. mostly.

alright shitheads, let’s do this by month. IT’S GOING TO GET LONG-WINDED AND ANNOYING SO YOU MIGHT WANT TO MAKE THIS INTO A DRINKING GAME TO EASE THE PAIN.

JUNE

went to a comedy show with everyone for a friend’s birthday. saw um… mickey? from that morning show? it was alright. had pho with jose. that was amazing. because pho is the best. I just noticed jose doesn’t have a nickname, though I don’t think that’s an issue since I pretty much don’t talk to him ever now. ANYWAY. I met jemaine’s daughter, jenova (that’s actually her middle name, how cool is that?). babysat her. well, slept over while she was also asleep lol. apparently I also went out to dinner with bigwerm twice (moby dick once, which was amazing kabob food. but there was another kabob place with devastatingly delicious hummus and I can’t remember the name dammit), kitti (and also a movie but can’t remember which one?), then there’s a weird note about “jemaine movie FAQ time travel” and I have NO IDEA what that’s about. OH WAIT YES THAT’S THE NAME OF THE MOVIE – frequently asked questions about time travel. haha, that movie was awesome. had pancakes with the DJ. um. I don’t know if that’s his actual nickname. I can’t remember.

JULY

july 2, 2012 I got in a car wreck and seraphina was totaled. JUST LOOK AT HER FACE. and her at the tow place. and all the airbags that deployed. boooo. I got an airbag burn on my left wrist that’s still discolored, but I like to use it as a reminder that you can’t trust other drivers. so I spent the 3rd getting a rental car and going to the clinic to make sure I didn’t have any internal bleeding (no probs, follow-up was clean as well). 4th of july I did nothing because frankly I wasn’t in a good mood :P

oh! friday the 13th I met up with a new guy from okcupid who had a lisp and didn’t tell me about it before and… that was a complete shocker. I couldn’t get over him saying my name with his lisp; kind of sounded like homestar O_o the mini-golf was fun and he was a nice guy but just didn’t really feel anything.19th met mike (another from okc) and he was pretty cool. I think … first black guy I went on a date with? I’m not counting eli because he’s mixed lol. HALFBREEDS DON’T COUNT!!!! so mike, he was entertaining but after texting with him a little longer I realized I wasn’t going to be into him.

in the meantime, I had to get another car!!! I decided to go with a hyundai accent hatchback this time because there weren’t many rio5’s around that were close to base and that’s what I wanted. meet hoggle. there was only ONE thing I really hated about hoggle, and that was he didn’t have the sunshade extending capabilities that seraphina had. sooooo I visited seraphina at the car graveyard to get the sunshades lol. thankfully, nothing was electrical and the kia rio5 and hyundai accent hatch are really similar and it was an easy switch. so now there’s a part of seraphina in hoggle. she will live on!

had crepes with the DJ at crepes-a-go-go which was amazinngggggg. I need more crepes in my life lol! went to a german fest with zanzibar JUST to eat brats and kraut. so good. I love my german-nessness. OH! that weekend, parents were coming into town because then dad could sign hoggle’s paperwork with me (and they were visiting anyway to drop off my niece axle…) but they had car trouble (chas’ car) and they ended up DRIVING BACK HOME THEN DRIVING ALL THE WAY HERE. they were on the road foreverrrrr but they made it here safely. so yeah. they were visiting. signed for the car, had dinner at sakura which was fun.

AUGUST

aug 1st had dinner at olive garden with the family. had an early dinner thursday at panera (kitti met the folks) then went to china moon on friday. we like to go out to dinner when there’s company lol. saturday I had a day to myself with my parents and sadly I can’t remember what we did. I’m sure I had fun :| sunday we went to aunt and uncle’s house and dad got to see his cousin he hadn’t seen since he was like 8yrs old or something. bigwerm had a birthday, I saw the final batman movie with the great-big-bushy-beard guy, and we also went to mcginty’s for dinner. I had the guiness beef stew and it was perfect. I want more just thinking about it. side note, bushy-beard had a little emotional breakdown when SPOILER ALERT batman supposedly died. I was surprised because guys aren’t supposed to have feelings but it was nice that he was comfortable enough around me to let go lol.

kitti had a birthday, chasbot had a birthday, DJ had a birthday. omg though… I went up to DJ’s house for his party and the door was locked. the music was so loud, after banging on the door, ringing the doorbell, texting and calling DJ with no response, I just left. it was probably for the best. I hate dancing >.> oh, the friday before DJ’s party I visited with eli which was nice. I don’t see him often enough. we built some furniture then went to this nice little mediterranean bistro down the street from him. OH AND I GOT A FULL TIME JOB. first official day was the 20th. go, me. DJ felt bad about me missing his party, so I took him out for dinner at kentland’s diner (I think this is the place).

I don’t want to talk about september yet; I’m already out of steam and I didn’t even say anything interesting :(

again, I lose track of time and energy and forget to blag… let me say a few words, hopefully catch up on everything, and then skip off into the sunset.

the new guy from my last post has a nickname – flight of the conchords (he kind of looks like jemaine clement). we’ll call him jemaine to keep things simple.

june 1 – left work early for a dr’s appt then headed to oreo’s to look for my toaster and stuff. arrived at his place to find someone had placed two boxes full of books on my grandmother’s dining room table. this might not seem like a big deal, but my grandma is dead and the table was one of the only things I took from the house to remember her. on top of that, all three table extensions are in, so the boxes made the table bow. of course I removed the boxes post haste and texted oreo asking he not move my stuff again – I’d be more than happy to move anything he needs moved. later that night I hung out with jemaine again. we watched some more of “jon benjamin has a van” and I don’t remember what else lol.

june 2 – I spent the day with zanzibar in gettysburg at the outlet shops. it was so great, we walked around the entire outlet, bought some fun mini-books, some super-cheap bath & body works stuff, and I tried on a million bras but couldn’t find one I liked -_- on the way back to her city, there was this interesting old-style grocery store so we decided to stop in. I took a silly picture outside with the old-fashioned phonebooth lol. the first floor of the building was like walking into a country farm or something… so much wicker and quilt! the second floor was awesome – they had I think three rooms layed out in a 50’s style coca-cola diner theme. was awesome to see everything, and you could buy anything there! then we got around to the local food type stuff, and we got those old-fashioned candy sticks, zanzibar found a great pair of sunglasses, and also bought some kind of dip mix that looked deadly delicious. after we left the country store, we stopped by the liquor store in zan’s town (love me some whipped cream vodka!) and the farmer’s market (kiwis!). we parted ways after that because she was going to have dinner with her bf, and while I was invited, my energy was waning and I thought it’d be nice for them to have dinner alone. got home probably around 6:30pm, goofed off and went to bed.

june 3 – LAZY. I spent most of the day on the couch watching movies on HBO -_-

june 4 – jemaine and I were texting and he found out I had never seen black dynamite. he insisted he come over the next day for us to watch, but I told him I was busy until thursday. he grudgingly accepted thursday.

june 5 – went over to eli’s after work to help him unpack into his new place. we re-assembled a futon and built an ikea entertainment center. that one was an adventure… we caught up a little, made lewd jokes toward each other, and I left around 8pm because I still had to drive back to MC. was good seeing him :)

june 6 – originally was supposed to go to niece’s band concert, but the little one got bronchitis and an ear infection and wasn’t up to playing. I don’t blame her! because of this, I asked jemaine around 1pm if he wanted to come over to watch black dynamite. he said sure thing! then we chatted about how he reacts to his ex dating, and I told him he was creating a double-standard if he was allowed to date but if she did then he gave her crap for it. anyway… I got home around 5:30, settled in some (laundry, food), then put on the TV. got a text from jemaine saying that he’d talked to his ex (did I mention she still lives in his house?) and apparently she IS bothered by him dating. he told me he and his ex decided to give each other the courtesy of not dating until she had moved out. so pretty much got plans cancelled on me two hours before they’d happen. obviously I wasn’t too pleased with this outcome, so I told him “think of the most sarcastic way to say ‘awesome’ because that’s how I feel.” I sent a few more snarky responses while he continued to explain the situation, but once he started sending pics of him and his daughter being goofy and trying to cheer me up… well, let’s say I caved lol. but still… two weeks without my new friend is going to suck. he said it probably won’t last two weeks because his ex will do something to break the courtesy rule. who knows? right now I’m just trying to get through this week and into a calm weekend.

last night a new friend came over. I haven’t thought of a nickname for him yet… not really important at the moment. just wanted to recap the night!

he showed up a little after 8:30pm and of course I was super impatient about it. since I usually go to sleep around 9:30pm, whenever someone comes over late I want them to arrive asap. anyway. awkward side-hug greeting. off to a great start lol… went upstairs, gave him a tour of the place, then sat around and talked. we were going to watch that movie based on epic beard man but the sound didn’t work on my ps3, so we watched some ‘jon benjamin has a van’ and goofed off. bigwerm came home early which was a little disappointing, but it was good to see him and he enjoyed watching jon benjamin’s skits.

new friend and I ended up fooling around which was soooo funnn and I really needed it! I’ve been kind of down lately and of course affection helps me get out of a funk :) he left a little after 11pm and I passed out hard! I hope I get to see him again soon.

I think it goes without saying that everyone hates being cut off while driving. there’s that second of fear when you don’t know if you’re going to run into them, the anger when you realize they’re not going to go as fast as you want, and the eventual conscious effort to stifle your road rage. however I’ve been noticing a different kind of cutting off in my life – being cut off while speaking.

we’re all guilty of this: your sister/coworker/imaginary friend is wrapped up in a glorious tale regarding their crazy weekend when suddenly you have a thought that just won’t wait. so you blurt it out, cutting off your dear companion, but then quickly ask them to continue their story. things go back to normal. I understand this happens. what I DON’T understand is why it’s happening more and more often in my life. and you know it wouldn’t be so bad if I thought the other person felt bad for interrupting me (kitti feels bad, I know that), but lately friends have taken to cutting off my words without a care. it wouldn’t be such a big deal except it’s becoming more frequent and it’s happening during somewhat serious conversations. two prime examples:

last week my friend and I went out to lunch and I paid (like I normally do – long explanation I’m going to skip for now). I noticed that time that my friend never says thank you for the meal. never expresses gratitude at all, really. when I brought it up to him this past week, the conversation went something like this:
me: hey this is going to sound weird, but when I take you out for food I need you to say thank you–
friend: you’re right. I never thought of that. I don’t know why I didn’t. anyway.

you might be thinking “oh how sweet, he agrees with you. what’s the big deal?” the big deal is I got cut off mid-sentence when trying to explain a long history of something and he pretty much power-played out of it. instead of letting me finish my thought he agreed as fast as possible, cutting me off, and taking all the power away from my words. am I happy he agreed he needs to say thank you? of course I am. am I upset that he didn’t get the whole story? naturally.

last night I wanted to talk through my concerns with bigwerm over his gf coming over again (they had broken up but are back together now). bigwerm and I have a deal where I buy groceries and he cooks. he usually buys the meat (omaha steaks) so I get a break on that front. however, because my budget is so tight right now, I was unsure of whether or not I could afford more people eating the shared food. so I approached bigwerm hoping to get some advice and talk through it with him. instead, almost immediately into the conversation, he cut me off and said “buy your own groceries.” obviously it wasn’t my intention to upset him (I actually don’t know how he feels about it. I never can read him)… then he said something like “I’m not going to let this be an issue.” well guess what? by cutting me off and drawing a line in the sand, you just made it an issue. what’s so wrong with wanting to talk things through, get honest opinions, and maybe a new perspective? apparently everything’s wrong with that.

so now I feel like crap because I’ve been shit on this week by multiple friends who I thought would offer me more than a few words and a brush-off. meh. life.

wednesday night I hung out with the journalist. we got pho at pho & grill around 6pm and stayed there chatting until after 8pm. with nowhere else to go and me not wanting to get drinks, we headed back to my place. journey met bigwerm and ruckus which was cool… ruckus made a drink for journey (captain and orange soda, which is actually pretty good) and I made myself a strong malibu and 7up. you might be laughing at me, saying “strong and malibu don’t belong in the same sentence” but I’m a lightweight! ended up making one more drink for journey and myself and I was pretty damn tipsy for a school night. ruckus and journey were laughing at my expense, and then journey acted like the big brother he is and told me to go get ready for bed XD! so I went and brushed my teeth and put on my PJs and we hung out a little bit more. then it was suddenly SUPER LATE so I walked journey to the door and said good night. all in all, it was a great time and I’m glad he and I have become friends.

the guy I’m dating, katsu, came over last night to hang out. he got to my place at 5:15 and of course gave me crap that he’d been ready to come over at 5:00 but I rescheduled (this is a big deal because I usually get to give him crap about making me wait). after saying our hello’s I drove us to the grocery store. I pretty much forced him to go grocery shopping with me because I needed marshmallows for rice crispy treats for kitti. ended up getting a few more items, but wasn’t a terribly long trip. oh, it was also his first time in seraphina (my new car) and he said he likes her :3

grocery trip was pretty uneventful except when I tried to hug him and he backed off. I forgot he doesn’t do PDA, but hugging… hugging? I mean is that really PDA? I dunno. just something I noticed.

we got back to my place and hung out, chatted, the norm. I started making the rice crispy treats and found out katsu really likes marshmallows, which I think is adorable. every time I took the marshmallows out of the microwave to stir, he exclaimed how he just wanted to eat the whole gooey mess. I agreed lol. got the cereal mixed in, stirred, pressed into a pan… and then I offered the bowl and spoon to katsu. he had a hard time getting over the fact that it felt wrong to eat off the spoon used to make the food. I laughed of course, because what did mom always do with spoons and beaters after making brownies, fudge, frosting? she gave them to the kids! because it’s delicious! anyway, he got over it and we shared the remains in the bowl. oh, and I found out katsu’s as obsessed with mints and gum as I am :)

cuddled up on the couch and watched most of ‘easy a’ which I’d never seen before. it was good but I wasn’t that into it because I was cuddling with katsu and… well I’d rather pay attention to him >.< he asked me what I was doing this weekend (he’s out of town) and I told him friday and saturday were solid but sunday I didn’t know which guy friend to hang out with. he remarked that I have a lot of guy friends. he then asked how I’d feel if he hung out with a bunch of different girls – I told him I’d be jealous. he laughed that that was a double standard. I gave him a look and asked if he wanted me to explain and he said yes... to give a little background on how my mind works, here’s an example of me going over the top in my reaction to something: katsu: ALSO i was totalllyyy trying to get some yesterday but you’re just like ‘nopenope’ kaese: my roids have some things to say about that would you like to hear? katsu: mmhmm kaese: *clears throat* so first off, I told you I had plans, so obvi I wouldn’t have been able to. and are you saying you’d like me to start breaking plans to not even see you, but just fuck? if that’s the case, are we still trying to date or you just want to use each other for sex? and why would you hold enough sway (yet) to make me want to break plans? *passes out* katsu: whoa there kaese: lol ... I took a deep breath and explained that the only reason I’m hanging out with so many other guys right now is because HE doesn’t want to make our dating exclusive. I want it to be exclusive. if we were together, then I would make him more of a priority in my life and then wouldn’t be seeing so many other guys. that makes sense, right? I’d be jealous of other girls because if katsu doesn’t have enough time for me then why does he have the time for other girls? :( even though it was hypothetical I still got a little riled. I think he’s getting used to my rage though, because the spurts go just as fast as they arrive. and they’re kind of funny. kind of. we also talked about dogs again. he eventually wants to get a dalmatian and I hate all pets. he said that he thinks I’m like how homophobes actually have suppressed homosexual tendencies except with dogs. I secretly, deep down want a dog. he’s wrong. another thing to talk about later -_- katsu left around 10:15 which was WAY PAST my bedtime but I’m glad he stayed as long as he could. I can’t wait to see him again >//<

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I love sleep. I need my seven or eight hours every night to feel refreshed and chipper, dammit. unfortunately I’m a light sleeper; can’t have light, sound, too cold, too hot… so when I moved in to bigwerm’s place a few months ago I expected to have my sleep pattern disturbed somewhat. ruckus’ room and mine share a wall and the doors to the hall are right next to each other. sound will travel, and ruckus is a prime example. ruckus is a cool guy but his sleeping habits are just so off compared to mine. let me explain, using this morning as an example.

10:30p: bed! a little late but I should get enough sleep :/

12:30a: bladder wtfffff stupid medicine screwing up my sleep!! I’m on steroids cuz I had poison ivy :(

2:22a: … is that… love shack? blaring from ruckus’ room? yep. it’s love shack. ruckus goes to bed with earbuds in and wedges his laptop between “our” wall and his bed. sometimes his earbuds unplug and the laptop speakers take over. and ruckus doesn’t listen to gentle, soft sounds. no, last time this happened he was rocking out to madonna. thankfully madonna only belted out one song before the laptop died. THIS MORNING, HOWEVER, I heard love shack for 45 minutes. 45. minutes. of love shack.

3:00a: alarms! alarms! make sure ruckus gets out of bed! usually I wouldn’t have to get up now but he was leaving on business and I make sure he doesn’t oversleep.

3:10a: alarms! alarms! ruckus forgot to turn off his phone alarm and I get to listen to it for ten minutes. yayyyy.

4:50a: alarms! alarms! kaese has to get up for work -_-

thankfully these things don’t happen too often. it was just horrible luck they all did in the same night. it’s pretty ridiculous to wake up to love shack at 2:22am.