I think it goes without saying that everyone hates being cut off while driving. there’s that second of fear when you don’t know if you’re going to run into them, the anger when you realize they’re not going to go as fast as you want, and the eventual conscious effort to stifle your road rage. however I’ve been noticing a different kind of cutting off in my life – being cut off while speaking.
we’re all guilty of this: your sister/coworker/imaginary friend is wrapped up in a glorious tale regarding their crazy weekend when suddenly you have a thought that just won’t wait. so you blurt it out, cutting off your dear companion, but then quickly ask them to continue their story. things go back to normal. I understand this happens. what I DON’T understand is why it’s happening more and more often in my life. and you know it wouldn’t be so bad if I thought the other person felt bad for interrupting me (kitti feels bad, I know that), but lately friends have taken to cutting off my words without a care. it wouldn’t be such a big deal except it’s becoming more frequent and it’s happening during somewhat serious conversations. two prime examples:
last week my friend and I went out to lunch and I paid (like I normally do – long explanation I’m going to skip for now). I noticed that time that my friend never says thank you for the meal. never expresses gratitude at all, really. when I brought it up to him this past week, the conversation went something like this:
me: hey this is going to sound weird, but when I take you out for food I need you to say thank you–
friend: you’re right. I never thought of that. I don’t know why I didn’t. anyway.
you might be thinking “oh how sweet, he agrees with you. what’s the big deal?” the big deal is I got cut off mid-sentence when trying to explain a long history of something and he pretty much power-played out of it. instead of letting me finish my thought he agreed as fast as possible, cutting me off, and taking all the power away from my words. am I happy he agreed he needs to say thank you? of course I am. am I upset that he didn’t get the whole story? naturally.
last night I wanted to talk through my concerns with bigwerm over his gf coming over again (they had broken up but are back together now). bigwerm and I have a deal where I buy groceries and he cooks. he usually buys the meat (omaha steaks) so I get a break on that front. however, because my budget is so tight right now, I was unsure of whether or not I could afford more people eating the shared food. so I approached bigwerm hoping to get some advice and talk through it with him. instead, almost immediately into the conversation, he cut me off and said “buy your own groceries.” obviously it wasn’t my intention to upset him (I actually don’t know how he feels about it. I never can read him)… then he said something like “I’m not going to let this be an issue.” well guess what? by cutting me off and drawing a line in the sand, you just made it an issue. what’s so wrong with wanting to talk things through, get honest opinions, and maybe a new perspective? apparently everything’s wrong with that.
so now I feel like crap because I’ve been shit on this week by multiple friends who I thought would offer me more than a few words and a brush-off. meh. life.